Alright, let's get this straight. Microsoft stock's up because... of AI? Give me a freakin' break. It's the oldest trick in the book: promise the moon, deliver a slightly shinier turd, and watch the stock price soar.
The "AI Revolution" (aka Marketing Ploy #47)
So, Microsoft's cozying up even tighter with Anthropic, throwing billions at Azure cloud capacity, and Nvidia's along for the ride, too. Sounds like a party, right? Except, who's paying for the booze? Oh, that's right, we are. The investors who are dumb enough to think "AI" is some kind of magic money tree.
A $30 billion commitment? That’s not innovation; that’s just throwing cash at a problem until it (maybe) goes away. And all this talk about Azure becoming a "neutral home" for AI models? Please. It's about locking everyone into the Microsoft ecosystem so they can bleed them dry for years to come.
And don't even get me started on this "AI Operating System" nonsense from VAST Data. An AI OS for Azure? What does that even mean? It’s just marketing buzzwords stacked on top of each other, designed to make investors salivate over something they don't understand.
Then again, maybe I'm just being cynical. Maybe this time it is different. Nah, who am I kidding? It's the same old song and dance, just with robots this time.
Wall Street's Kool-Aid
The analysts are "firmly positive," you say? Of course, they are! They always are. BMO Capital, Jefferies, UBS, Stifel, Evercore ISI—they're all singing the same tune: "Buy, buy, buy!" with price targets that are laughably detached from reality. They keep saying the microsoft stock price today will go up.
Analysts are still saying the stock's worth $631.80? That's cute. That's like saying my beat-up Honda Civic is worth $100,000 because... reasons.
What are the reasons? Oh, right, AI.
And don't forget the sustainability angle. Microsoft's buying solar power in Spain, so that makes it okay to burn massive amounts of energy training AI models, right? It's all part of the "sustainability narrative." Clever. Very clever.
You know, the stock's already trading at a ridiculous multiple, but these jokers think AI growth will justify those prices. It's like they're living in a different dimension. A dimension where logic and common sense don't exist.
The "AI Debt" Crisis (That No One's Talking About)
But hey, let's not focus on the real risks, shall we? Let’s ignore the fact that Microsoft's racking up debt to fund this AI obsession. Bloomberg's waving red flags about Big Tech bond issuances, warning that this reckless spending could strain credit markets. But who cares? As long as the stock price goes up, right?
Offcourse, there's the execution risk. These AI partnerships require "flawless execution at massive scale." Which basically means everything has to go perfectly, all the time, forever. And we all know how likely that is.
And what happens when the AI hype dies down? What happens when investors realize that AI isn't a magic bullet? What happens when the "unstoppability" of Microsoft isn't so unstoppable anymore?
Then again, what do I know? Maybe Microsoft will save the world with AI. Maybe they'll solve climate change, cure cancer, and bring about world peace. And maybe pigs will fly.